The Queen's Cold Affliction
by changerswriter
Summary: Elsa is attacked and left for dead on a walk and wakes without her ice powers. Follows Elsa's weakness and dependence on her sister, Anna, as she struggles to rule a kingdom, questioning herself and her loyalties. M for violence. Could be xElsanna if you squint.
1. Crimson

**Author's Note: Thank you for reading my little story. :) Please review or favorite. :3**

Elsa's mind was blissfully empty. Empty of pain, empty of fear. She would've appreciated it if she'd been conscious enough to acknowledge it.

Elsa had left earlier that morning with a small patrol to take a walk in the nearby foothills. Anna knew she did this to put her mind at ease whenever she felt out of control. Still, Anna had been discouraged to find her sister's bed empty once again, so she decided to accompany Kristoff on an ice delivery run in an attempt to assuage her hurt feelings.

They moved briskly through the snow, the new sled slicing through the fresh powder with ease and grace. Anna was mid-laugh when she saw it. She lurched forward and threw her hand over Kristoff's chest, demanding, "Stop!" She'd seen the wet splotch of blood in the snow, maybe two meters from the trail. Anna, being curious as always, wormed out of the blanket she'd been cocooned in, and took off at a run.

At first she had to follow dribbles of blood which were steaming in the cold air, then they grew in size until she was close enough to find the bodies. The wind tasted foul and brackish. A freezing pool of blood smeared the snow not too far away. A swatch of fabric somersaulted in the wind. She followed the cloth, knowing what she would find. There were three bodies, covered in the same green suit. Fresh snowfall had partially covered one, masking his face. The other two lay not far away, their hot blood having melted the snow around them. And past them…

"Elsa!" Anna's heart rose and spread through her fingertips. She felt unbelivably light. The crimson stood out against the light blue of her sister's dress. Anna was lighter than a feather, and was about to be blown away. She took a quick step, forcing her body into motion. Her sister was face-down in the snow. "Oh Gods." Anna kneeled next to her, her hands hovering over the blonde's powerful frame. Blood pooled from her back, between her shoulder blades. Anna's gaze caught on dried rivulets of blood snaking down her ribs.

She'd lost Kristoff somewhere around the first guard. No doubt he was checking for survivors, and had been so immersed he'd lost sight of Anna.

She rolled Elsa over, whose arm draped over her chest from the motion. After a long moment, a puff of steam escaped the queen's mouth and she opened her eyes blearily. Anna covered her mouth with her mittens. "Oh, Elsa!" She put a hand on her sister's arm, and pulled it away, shocked. Even through her mittens she could feel her sister's temperature.

A common thought among the townspeople, who had never actually touched the Queen's skin before, was that it was cold, to match her personality and her powers. But Anna knew this wasn't true. Since the Great Thaw, they had patched their relationship up well. It wasn't uncommon now to see the sisters casually touching each other. Anna knew that Elsa's skin wasn't naturally cold. She was supposed to be warm to the touch.

Elsa weakly gripped Anna's sleeve. "Help…me," she breathed, her eyes unfocused.

"Elsa, your skin- you're freezing!" She put her mittens to Elsa's cheeks and turned her head. Her heart skittered. "Kristoff! Help!" Her voice cracked. "Help!"

The sound of laborious panting met her ears, but she turned back to Elsa, feeling her shuddering under her hands.

Elsa let out a choking sound, her face contorting in pain. Her head lolled to the side, but before Anna could do more than draw in a breath, the Queen's hair changed. It started at the roots, and spread quickly to the tail of her braid with a cracking sound like twigs snapping. Now her hair, which had previously been the color of snow, was a mahogany-brown color, like their mother's. At the same time, Elsa's ice dress dissolved to water, landing with a muted splash on the snow below her body.

Kristoff arrived, kicking up snow with his boots. "Anna. The guards - they're dead," he panted. His eyes met Elsa's naked body. "O- oh." He averted his gaze, placing a hand before his field of vision.

"She's alive." Anna spoke quickly. "Get the blanket from the sled. Hurry!"

Kristoff sprinted back, the blanket billowing like a sail behind him.

Anna snatched the fabric from his arms and wrapped it around her sister's body. She struggled to lift the queen, her arms shaking in fear, but Kristoff took her out of Anna's hands, holding her under her knees and shoulders. Anna ran behind him to the sled, noticing with a sinking stomach that Elsa's head was bouncing up and down with his strides.

Once at the sled, Kristoff placed Elsa in Anna's lap, and they started riding toward the castle. The cold wind cut into Anna's frame, but she couldn't help but think how much worse it was for Elsa. Despite the blanket, she was almost stone-cold. Her neck and feet were the only body parts not covered by the rough, brown blanket. Anna touched her sister's face again and started rubbing her cheeks in an effort to make the blood run to her face to keep her warm. Elsa's neck stretched far down, the weight of her head clearly visible. Anna repositioned her so her neck was in the crook of Anna's, and she held her back to keep her from falling out as they jostled over rocks and roots. Anna pressed firmly on the wound in an effort to keep more blood from escaping. Surely the cold air had to help? Right? She had been on her back in the snow, maybe it had packed it down. Constricted the blood vessels? She knew these hopes were pointless, but they calmed her down slightly. She couldn't help Elsa if she was panicking. "Elsa, Elsa," her voice shook, and not just because of the bumpy trail. "You have to be okay. I can't- I can't lose you now."

Elsa's blank face looked back at her.

The guards had already noticed the quick-approaching sled, so the gates were open in apprehension. Kristoff carried the queen to her room, skipping stone steps in his haste, and placed her softly on the bed. The court physician shut Kristoff out, but let Anna stay. She worked her hands over and over as the healer checked the injury.

His white eyebrows shot up. "Her wound has healed. I don't know how, or what by, but it has closed."

Elsa was propped on her side in the bed, a blanket modestly positioned around her body. Still unconscious.

"Healed?" Anna asked incredulously. "It was soaking through on the ride over!" She grimaced and motioned towards her dress. She was drenched in her sister's blood.

The old man gave her a sympathetic glance. "Come. Look." The healer made room for Anna on his side of the bed, which showed Elsa's back.

He was right. The wound had turned into a scar already, a sloppy circle with thick, wavy lines reaching all the way to her shoulders and down to her lower ribs.

"Oh." Anna pressed her hands to her mouth. Tears watered in her eyes. She swallowed thickly. "Will she wake?" _Please, Elsa. I just got you back. _

"I am not sure. The fact that her back has healed bodes well. She is strong. I think she will pull through."

"Thank you," Anna breathed, clutching her hand to her collar. She touched the man's shoulder lightly.

He nodded, understanding the gesture. "M'lady" he said, bowing, and ambled out of the room.

Anna pulled the blanket fully over her sister, leaving her lying on her side. She peered out the door. "Kristoff, you can come in."

"Is she-?" He looked at the queen. Her frame seemed gaunt, her eyes hollowed out and purplish from loss of blood.

Anna dropped into a chair near her sister, and reached for her hand. She rubbed it between hers. "The doctor thinks she will be okay." She sighed, and put her hands, still holding her sister's, to her face. "But Kristoff…She's so cold." She bit her lip until it turned white. "It's so strange. Her hair is different too, and the physician said her back had healed on its own. I don't understand it." She dropped Elsa's hand back onto the bed and stood up in a flash. "I _hate_ not understanding!" She kicked the dresser nearby with her boot, rattling its contents.

"Hey, hey." Kristoff walked over and pulled Anna into his arms. "Hey. Elsa will be fine. She's too stubborn to be anything but fine." He touched Anna on both sides of her face, just under her ears and contouring her neck. His hands were so large. Her lips were quivering, so he stilled them with a kiss. "Everything will be fine." He pressed his forehead against hers, and she breathed in his musky scent. Kristoff lightly pushed his girlfriend into her original chair, then pulled up a new one and sat in it. He laced his fingers with hers, and Anna reached out her other hand to lace her fingers in Elsa's.


	2. That Room

Anna bolted awake, unsure of what had woken her until she felt her sister's fingers squeezing hers painfully. The sun had risen, casting a strip of light on the queen's face.

Elsa's eyes were large. "Anna. Anna, what happened?" She sucked in a breath. "My back hurts so-" she attempted to rest on her elbow, then gasped in pain and fell back into the pillow, the wind knocked out of her.

She felt a strange sensation on her body, but didn't comprehend it until the effects of air loss had washed away. Elsa felt the bedsheet rub against her bare body. "Why am I _naked?_" She said it accusingly, as if Anna were to blame. Her eyes found Kristoff. "Oh my Gods." She pulled the blanket up to her chin, staring at him, her face flushed.

"Elsa." Anna sat carefully on the mattress. "Oh, I was so worried." She caressed Elsa's hair.

Seeing the look in Anna's eyes made Elsa's stomach drop. "_Anna. What happened?" _Her eyes widened in horror, and her next words came out choked. "Did I hurt someone? Did I lose control?"

"No, no, Elsa," Anna cooed. "You didn't hurt anyone."

Elsa let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding.

"Someone hurt you."

Elsa nodded, grimacing. She clutched Anna's sleeve desperately. Her words came in a torrent. "What's wrong with my back? Anna, I feel so weak. Something's wrong. Something's wrong.." She struggled for air, and let go of her sister's sleeve. She clenched her hands against her head, suddenly feeling a headache coming on.

"Calm down. Working yourself up isn't going to fix anything," Anna reprimanded. She touched her sister's shoulder, in conflict with the tone she'd used. "Look at me."

She did.

Anna hesitated. "We… aren't sure exactly what's going on with you. You and your guards were attacked."

"Where are they?" Elsa interrupted, concern flooding her eyes.

"…They're dead," Anna said quietly.

The now-brunette's eyes stared somewhere over her left shoulder.

Anna continued, "We found you, and you were bleeding a lot, from your back. Between your shoulder blades; basically, if I drew a line from your chest bone it would be right behind it." Elsa locked onto every word the princess said. "You were bleeding, like, a lot." Anna wiped her eyes and cleared her throat. "The wound is healed-"

"How long have I been out?" The Queen asked, dread in her stomach. Surely, if her wound had healed it had been-

"Just overnight. A few hours." Elsa looked at her in confusion. "I know. We don't understand it either…Anyways, it's scarred over already."

She nodded mutely.

"And, Elsa…? Um, have you noticed your hair yet?" Anna bit her lip.

Elsa sighed exasperatedly. My_ hair? Why on earth would my hair matt-?_ She held strands between her fingers. Her braid was brown. Brown like her mother's, a rich, mahogany _brown. _

_"_What-?"

"We don't know that either." Anna shrugged. "Maybe it'll turn white again when you've healed? One other thing… Your dress melted off of you when you got hurt. That's why you're naked."

Elsa pushed herself feebly into a sitting position, pulling the sheets over her chest and clutching a pillow. She hissed in pain.

"How many people—?"

"No one saw you, Elsa. Well, Kristoff did, but-" Elsa buried her head, and Anna jumped up a bit. "Well, he's with me, so, I mean, no offense Elsa, but he wasn't looking-"

"Can you just go?" Elsa asked tiredly.

Anna's shoulders dropped. Her mouth curved downwards. _Asking me to leave? Isn't that a little old by now? _she thought. "Yeah, fine, Elsa," she answered, crestfallen.

Anna padded quickly toward the door. "Come on, Kristoff," she called, an edge to her voice. He smiled in apology to Elsa and ran after her, leaving Elsa looking longingly at the door.

Elsa sat back against the headboard of her bed. She started to shiver, and pulled the blanket up to her chin, then stopped.

_What is going on with me? _She rubbed her palms over her arms, trying to warm her skin. _What is going on with me? _she repeated. She breathed into her palms and shook them out, trying to make the circulation run. She'd never felt cold, or even _chilled _before. She looked around her room with an unreadable expression.

Here she was, confined to her room again. If possible, it made her feel even colder. She desperately wanted _out_ of this room. She'd been in this room for too long as a child. Elsa didn't want to admit it to herself, but she dreaded coming to this room at the end of the night; it reminded her too much of her troubled childhood and the loneliness that resulted.

The thought prodded at her heart. She'd done it again- she'd told her sister to leave her yet _again_, and she was looking at a closed door, feeling colder than possible. She needed to fix this right now, before these feelings consumed her and she fell into old habits. Already, she could hear the phrase of her childhood sneaking it's way into her head. _Conceal-_

She threw the blanket off and shifted her position so her feet touched the floor. Her hands gripped the edge of the bed, and she forced herself to stand.

"Aughh." The groan ripped out of her despite her best efforts. She trudged toward her closet, and, painfully, and taking much time, worked her way into a nightgown. She scrutinized the door of her closet, making out the faded outline of where a mirror had once been. As a child, she'd asked a servant to remove it- they'd looked at her oddly, of course- but she had been persistent. She couldn't bear to look at her reflection most days because of the guilt. Now she would have killed for a mirror. She was curious how she looked now. Not because she was vain; in fact, she was probably the opposite of vain- she valued herself too little. Elsa gripped the side of the door and used it to push herself forward. A sweat had been worked up on her brow, but she still felt bone-achingly cold. Her legs trembled and she held her arm out in front of her, awaiting the door that was coming ever closer with each exhausting step. _When did this room get so damn big? _she thought exasperatedly.

Finally, she reached the door. She almost fell against it, but used her arm to pull herself up by the doorknob. She was panting in earnest now, and her back was searing. She had to use both sweaty hands to open the door, and yes- a crack of light showed. She stepped back and pulled it open, dragging her feet, clenching her toes in an effort to gain purchase on the floor. She swayed back and forth. Black spots dotted her vision. The door was open enough so that she could sidle through. The queen took three steps; each one searing up to her thighs, gasping for air, black and yellow clouding her sight, feeling _so_ cold, but so hot, and her back forcing her to crouch over to avoid the pain standing up straight would bring. The floor abruptly met her face, the sound of her falling like a deadweight ringing in her ears.

Her cheek stung from the impact and she tried to make her legs cooperate. She tried two times to stand up, bracing herself with her knee and an arm, but fell both times, splayed on the floor. "Help," she called, her voice hoarse and broken. "Anna."

Anna discovered Elsa minutes later, who was shaking with sobs. "Elsa!" Anna cried. Her braids flew behind her as she ran the hallway. "Elsa!" She dropped next to her sister, who was sobbing in an ugly fashion. Her face was splotchy and mucus ran down her chin. "What did you do?"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," she repeated. She was laying too still on the floor, which was worrisome to Anna. The only part of her that moved were her eyes and her chest as she tried to catch her breath.

Anna repositioned herself so she was looking Elsa in the eyes. Her palms were to the floor, and she leaned against her knees. "Hey, hey. Are you hurt?"

Elsa burst into a sob. _I hurt so much, Anna. I hurt so much. _"I'm sorry," she repeated, looking completely broken.

It was obvious she wasn't apologizing for the events that led to her being sprawled on the floor.

Anna rubbed Elsa's shoulders soothingly, her eyes softening. "You had to, Elsa."

"I-" she sucked in a breath. "I didn't want to be in that r-oo-oo-om anymo-ore. All alo-one."

Anna sighed, her eyebrows drawing closer together. She closed her eyes for a moment, an unpleasant look on her face. She finally said, "Our parents really screwed us up, didn't they?"

Elsa laughed and hiccuped with tears still streaming down her face. "Yeah, they -di-id."

Anna patted her older sibling's shoulder three times. "I need to know if you're hurt, Elsa. I'm going to bring you back to my room."

Elsa looked hopefully at the ginger-haired girl in front of her. She instantly seemed older and so mature. She wasn't the five year old who needed her anymore. Her lip wobbled. _I missed so much of your life. _"I can't get up…I tried." She clenched her eyes shut. Hot embarrassment flooded her cheeks. Was she going to be helpless, a prisoner to herself forever? First it was her powers, and now this?

"Okay." Anna contemplated for a moment. "I think I know what you're going to say, but I'm still going to ask you: should I get Kristoff?" She saw the look Elsa gave her. "Yeah, I thought not. You really are stubborn, you know that?" She put her hands on her hips briefly. "Okay, Elsa. So here's what we're gonna do." She looped her arm under the queen's shoulder, and held her waist with her other hand. "I'm going to stand up, and you're going to try to get your feet on the ground. We're right next to the wall, so you can lean on it if you need to. And if you fall, I'll be here to catch you. Ready? One, two, three!"

Anna was stronger than Elsa had thought. She pulled her -without too much difficulty- to a standing position. Now it was Elsa's turn. She just had to walk. _You can do this. Just move your feet. _She shuffled, moving her feet much too slowly for her liking. Her hand drifted the wall, clenching at it when she felt most like she was about to fall. But Anna never let go of Elsa's waist or loop around her shoulder.

Despite Anna's calm and collected expression, inside she was terrified. She briefly noticed the irony of the situation. Elsa was the one who was supposed to look cool at all times, the one who excelled in hiding her feelings. Right now Elsa looked anything _but_ cool. Her face was a mix of emotions, all moving too fast for Anna to really comprehend. She saw shame, which burned like fire in Elsa's cheeks; pure terror in her eyes and the way her mouth was set; exhaustion in the way her whole body trembled; she saw another emotion but tried to shove it out of her mind, because that was too terrifying to think of itself-

Helplessness.

With each half-step Elsa took, Anna's insides squirmed more. A thought flashed through her mind and she felt crushingly guilty, like she should pitch herself out of the tower for thinking such a thing. To try to make up for it, she held Elsa tighter and carried the weight of her body more, though her muscles ached.

What thought could cause such a feeling of self-hatred? '_She looks pathetic.' _

**Note: I had SOOO much fun writing this chapter! Please let me know what you think of the story. Love you all. Your reviews/favs/etc. all are a great inspiration to keep writing. 3**


	3. The Mantra

Elsa laid on a lounge, trying to catch her breath, looking wondrously around her at the room she'd once shared with her sister. She pressed a shaking hand to her nose, wiping away the spit and snot. She inhaled in a hitched breath.

Anna watched her sister carefully, seeing a flurry of emotions in her face, which was an ashen gray.

"Elsa?"

The queen's head snapped to look at Anna, but her eyes drifted.

Anna picked at her nails. "It's been months since the Thaw. But we still haven't talked about…about _that._" She threw her arms out, motioning to the room around her. She drew her legs up into her chest. "I- I need to know _why_ you left me all of a sudden. I don't want there to be anymore secrets between us. I can't live like that anymore."

Elsa's thumb circled the soft couch underneath her. She looked so tired, and for a moment Anna felt guilty. Gods, Elsa had been through so much today, and here she was selfishly demanding answers, as if they couldn't wait another few weeks.

But the image of Elsa's body on the floor, desperate to escape her lonely room, pressed against Anna's mind. Elsa needed to release this just as badly as Anna needed to know it.

Elsa placed her hands to her stomach subconsciously. Years of concealing her powers forced the action. "I left because I hurt you."

Anna noded, her chin on her knee. "The white strip in my hair."

Elsa nodded curtly. "We were playing. We snuck out of our rooms and went to the ballroom, and you asked me to use my powers. You wanted to build a snowman." Her voice hitched on the last word. "You were jumping on hills of snow I'd made… You fell off one, and I tried to create a snowdrift to save you from falling- but I stuck you. I misfired. I almost killed you, my _own sister._" She hunched over, holding her arms closer to her body. She grunted at the stretching of her back.

"Elsa, you didn't mean to."

She shook her head irritatedly. "It doesn't matter. I hurt you. Mama, Papa, and I went to see some trolls who had magic."

"Trolls!" Anna's eyes opened wide. "I met them! They raised Kristoff."

Elsa's eyebrows knit together. "Small world," she said weakly. She paused. "They healed you, but they removed the memory of the accident from your mind. And…all the other memories of my magic." Elsa shivered, causing Anna to jump up and get a blanket. She tucked it around her sister and sat cautiously next to her, careful to not jostle the cushion.  
"Why would they do that?" Anna questioned. "That's…ridiculous."

"Anna, they're trolls. They aren't know for their intelligence. Kind, maybe, but intelligence, no." She held her breath, then let it out in a whoosh. "They showed me a vision- a mob of people from this village, attacking me. They said I had to learn how to control my powers or that would become my fate.

"So mama and papa locked me in my room. They promised I could come out once I gained control. But I never did. I still don't control it that well. I was resentful at first, being locked up in my room. But I started to believe that I deserved it, that it was necessary. I wanted to keep you safe. Mama and Papa taught me to fear my powers, and you mattered- you _matter_- too much to me to put you in that kind of danger again.

"The trolls said one thing, 'Fear will be your enemy.' Now I understand it," she said ruefully. "Fear, and shutting off my emotions only makes it worse. All those days, I just wished to be able to touch you again, to smile at you. I wanted to spend my days with you, but I stayed away because I loved you too much."

Anna saw her sister in new eyes. All the years she'd been resentful of her sister's isolation- it had all been to protect her. She'd been kept in a prison by their parents. Anna's heart broke for her. She could only imagine the guilt her sister bore, the loneliness she carried.

Elsa gave a small, conflicted laugh. "I did something stupid the other day. I stoked the fire in my chambers, and I pulled every pair of gloves out of my room, and I burned them. I needed to. I needed to break the circle of thoughts in my head: '_Conceal. Don't feel. Don't let them know_.'"

Anna's mouth dropped. She knew Elsa could be emotionally cold, but she'd never heard her sister utter this mantra before. She said it without inflection, making it obvious she'd said it many times before. The phrase had lost its ingenuity.  
"Elsa," she breathed. She wrapped her sister in a hug, still shocked. They stayed like that for a minute, then Anna drew slowly away, her eyes locking to Elsa's, an unreadable expression in them. Her fingers tightened infinitesimally on the slender girl's shoulders. "You didn't come up with that yourself, did you?"

Elsa bit her lip, tears pricking her eyes. _No,_ she mouthed.

Anna drew in a deep breath, her shoulders straightening out. Her posture was too straight. She looked over Elsa's shoulder. "I-can't-believe-him," she growled. There was no way Anna's mother had come up with that ditty. Her soft mother, who wanted only the best for her children. _But if she wanted the best for us, why did she allow Papa to lock Elsa away? _

Elsa's shoulders shook with dry sobs that she kept locked in her chest. Her delicate hands covered her face, though no tears came.

"Elsa, I'm so sorry. I'm so, so, sorry." She held her sister's cheeks, stroking under her eyes with her thumbs. "Listen to me, Elsa. You _never_ have to wear those gloves again. You can spend every night in my room - we can make up for the time we lost. Elsa. I love you, and you never have to shut yourself away from me. I understand now. I'm so sorry you had to go through all that alone. But not anymore. I have you, and I'm not letting you go." She embraced her sister, running her hands through the brown hair. It was only fitting, that, after years of protecting Anna, Anna should return the favor. She vowed to herself she would do everything she could to pick up the shards of their broken hearts.

They didn't have to be alone anymore.

**Thank you again to everyone who's reading my little story. It warms my heart to hear from you guys! 3**


	4. Having You Back

**Hi! Sorry for the late update! Been super busy. ****Things**** are slowing down, though, so hopefully updates will be more on time! **

Anna rolled over, looking at her sister's sleeping face. The Queen slept on her stomach, stiff as a board. Even in her sleeping state, she looked uncomfortable. Anna lightly rubbed her sister's hand, and the intense look Elsa was giving her pillow faded. She didn't quite smile, but at least she wasn't frowning anymore. The younger sibling hadn't slept well, the revelations still pacing her mind. She pushed a strand of hair from her face. The sun was a few minutes from rising. The purple-reddish light covered her bed for a second, and the color triggered a memory. _The sky's awake; so I'm awake! So we have to play! _Anna blinked quickly a few times and shook her head.

Her gaze found Elsa's form, which breathed shallowly, and noticed that her brown hair was coming loose from the braid. For the first time, Anna thought her sister looked fragile. The thought poked her mind uncomfortably. _It's my turn to help her. It's my turn to be a big sister. _ She smirked and rolled carefully out of her bed, which she'd graciously been sharing with Elsa.

"Elsaaa," Anna trilled, minutes later. She pushed the door to her room with her hip, stepping cautiously and carrying a tray.

Elsa pushed herself upwards, letting her head rest in-between her hunched shoulders. She moaned softly at the movement, which pulled her skin tight across her shoulder bones.

"I made you breakfast! In bed!" Anna squealed, restraining the urge to skip. She placed the tray carefully on the bed, but undid her work by jumping onto the mattress in her joy.

Anna feverishly picked the strawberries off her sheets and plopped them back in the silver bowl. "Dammit. That's gonna stain." She licked a finger and rubbed at the residue. She looked at Elsa, who was clearly confused.

"Come on," Anna grinned. "I brought whipped cream, too. I'll even feed it to you," she said sweetly.

Elsa repositioned herself so she was in an upright sitting position. "Anna, why-?"

"Just let me," Anna coaxed.

Elsa blew her bangs out of her face and resigned herself to her sister's shenanigans. Anna happily plopped the juicy berries into Elsa's lips, but the sincere gesture turned into one of tricks and giggles. It started with Anna, who accidentally shoved a whole strawberry in the woman's mouth, causing her to balloon her cheeks like chipmunks. "Hey!" Elsa garbled, juice dribbling down her chin.

Anna laughed. "Sorry!" she chuckled. Elsa glared mischievously at her sister.

"Oh no don't you d-"

Elsa fell backwards onto the bed with laughter, half crying in pain. The most un-ladylike of snorts escaped her, and she threw her hands over her mouth. Anna's head came into view, covered in whipped cream, and she wiped two circles to see out of, giving Elsa the straightest look she'd ever seen. "That was expensive stuff, Elsa; I hope it was worth it to you." Then she burst into a fit of giggles, scooping the whipped cream off her face and flinging it into the elder's. Anna hooted with laughter. Elsa gazed at her sister incredulously.

"I'm the Queen! And you just _did_ _that?" _

"I'm your little sister! And I just _did that_!" she mimicked, putting her hands on her hips.

Elsa scoffed, and attempted to smash a berry in her face. Anna, in better health than her sister, easily held her down.

Elsa struggled against the redhead. "Hey! No fair! I'm handicapped!" Elsa shouted mockingly. Anna stopped, her hand in the middle of the air, cupping a handful of whipped cream. Her eyes caught sight of a tendril of the scar on Elsa's shoulder, and she retreated to the other corner of the bed.

"Oh, gods, no, Anna, I didn't mean-"

"No, no, no, you're right. I shouldn't be roughhousing with you. You were- _are_- severely hurt."

Elsa pushed herself back up, and held Anna's shoulder. "Hey." She paused, looking Anna in the eyes. "It was nice to have some sister time with you." She met her eyes meaningfully, and continued, "We needed to catch up on that." She lowered herself slowly back into the soft cushions, smiling up at the ceiling.


	5. Closed Doors and Closed Hearts

A knock sounded on the door.

Elsa rolled her eyes. "Anna, you don't have to knock. It _is_ your room after all."

Anna's head peeked around the corner, a small smile on her face. "No, it's our room now. And I wanted to make sure you were, um, decent." Anna chewed back a giggle. Her face grew serious quickly, however. "Are you doing paperwork?" Her gaze fell on the expensive wooden writing desk that was sitting on Elsa's lap. A pair of spectacles sat atop Elsa's perky nose, and in her hand was a quill.

"_'Trying_' would be the correct word," Elsa said regretfully. "My hand won't stop shaking. My penmanship looks like a five-year-old's." She brandished the scroll she'd been writing on, her face irritatedly looking away from Anna's.

It did look horrendous.

"We need to talk," Anna confessed.

Elsa's head snapped up from her work, her eyes holding fear and concern. "What is it?"

"I've been talking with the staff... Do you realize it's been three days since you were injured?" Elsa nodded. "...And you've missed several appointments?"

The Queen's eyes widened, understanding the implications.

"It's okay, we-"

_THACK_

Elsa landed heavily on her knees next to the bed, her heels under the rough bed frame, burning from the scrape.

"_Fuck," _Elsa spat, clenching her hands on the wooden flooring. Bruises were already blossoming under the queen's skin.

Anna's assistance was delayed by shock. She stumbled forward to help, putting her arm under her sister's shoulder to pull her back into the bed, but Elsa's stare dominated her, and made her let go.

"I _have_ to be out there. I shouldn't have missed those meetings!" Elsa's voice was harsh- angry at herself and her injury.

Anna drew in a breath, bracing herself. "Elsa, you're too sick to rule right now."

Elsa's astounded face gaped back at her. "I am _not-"_

"You can't even walk, Elsa," Anna said gently, cupping her sister's face in her hands. "That's what I came to talk with you about. Just listen, okay?"

Elsa glared back at her sister, her pride keeping her from seeing the reality of her condition.

"I had to cancel your meetings with some officials these last three days. Don't worry, I did it tactfully, and without letting anyone know what was going on behind closed doors."

"Closed doors?" Elsa muttered, the phrase kicking her while she was down.

Anna hesitated. "That's the other thing. We had to close the gates."

"What?" Elsa hissed. She shuddered, whether it was with anger or because of the chills, Anna didn't know. "You have to open them. _Now._"

"We can't," Anna replied sternly, standing up to her older sibling. "Someone attacked you, and it's not safe to leave them open until we can locate them."

"No, no, no," Elsa replied, dementedly pulling on her hair. "You don't understand. The townspeople already fear me enough as it is!"

"That's ridiculous," Anna scoffed. "You saw how happy they were with you after the Thaw."

"They'll assume the gates are closed because I've lost control of my powers again. My grip on the throne is tenuous as it is!" She sighed. "Of course they were happy after the Thaw- they thought they would live in an eternal winter forever! _All I did_ was right a wrong. I have not proved myself to be worthy of their love. I have not proved myself to be a good leader. This will worry them needlessly, and they will become fearful of me again."

Anna opened her mouth to protest, but Elsa steamrolled right over her. "The closed gates will make us look weak to the other nations. They will see it as a sign that I have lost control- that something is wrong in Arendelle- they will attack us- I can't afford to look helpless right now." Her eyes blazed with determination and fear.

"We will look more helpless if we send you off to one of those appointments and you collapse," Anna replied sternly. "Don't argue- you know it's true. With the gates closed, we leave the possibility of a dangerous ice queen who will not stop to think about moral ambiguities. Someone who might lash back at any attack with twice as much vengeance."

Elsa winced at her words. She shoved her pride down and answered, "Fine. For how long?"

"For as long as we have to," Anna answered simply. "Now let me help you back into bed, and how about I help you with your paperwork?"

The brunette's shoulders dropped along with her pride. "You would do that?"

"Of course."

Elsa was in the middle of a mound of blankets, her teeth chattering. Anna sat with the writing desk in her lap, twirling the quill in her fingers.

"So... We aren't doing trade with Weselton, for obvious reasons," Anna started, sighing and scratching her head. "We are low on tea in the markets right now- the majority was given away by Prince Hans-" Anna blushed guiltily and glanced at her sister "-during the Great Thaw."

Elsa nodded thoughtfully. Tea was an important resource in the town. It's cleanliness was always certain- tea could be relied on, but a drink from the wrong well could kill you. "Who else trades tea?" Elsa chattered.

"Well," Anna shuffled through a stack of papers, "ah! Indokine trades tea, but they are currently warring with the Lingle peninsula, which we've promised to ally with in times of need." Anna sighed.

"No others trade tea?"

"Only Weselton."

The elder sibling pulled her limbs closer to her body, seeking warmth.

"Get a scroll and set the heading for a letter," Elsa commanded. "Write this:

_Dear Sovereign Rowe of Indokine,"_

Anna's hand scratched the parchment.

_"It is a pleasure to write to you today in request of trade for 24,000 gallons of tea-" _"Twenty-four thousand?" Anna asked incredulously.

"Yes," Elsa explained. "There are roughly eight thousand people in Arendelle, and on average a person drinks three-fourths of a gallon in one day. I'm accounting for size of families and the poor who are likely to risk drinking from the wells. That amount should last two months. Now,"

Anna blinked at her sister. Someday she would have to do this- she would have to know mathematics and politics and how to word things in such a way that would make people want to agree with her.

_ "'The Kingdom of Arendelle has henceforth stopped trade with Weselton, and wishes to extend the same generous monetary reimbursement previously offered. The amount is 30,000 silver coins, which, in your currency is equivalent to 50,000 notes. _

_Unfortunately, I have signed a "stand-beside" treaty with Lingle Peninsula, whom you are currently warring with. I would like to find a middle ground that would suit both our interests. I look forward to your reply. Sincerely,..." _

Anna handed the scroll to her sister so she could sign in with the royal seal. "Queen Elsa of Arendelle" was in fancy loopy lettering, and only someone accustomed to Elsa's penmanship would notice the shakiness of it.

Elsa rolled the paper after she was sure the ink had dried, and she set it on the nightstand.

"Are you sure thirty-thousand silvers isn't too much?" Anna asked carefully.

Elsa grinned. "No, Anna, for that price, I'm practically stealing the tea from them. The kingdom of Indokine is suffering from an economical crisis. Sovereign Rowe is lucky I'm offering that much."

"It sounds like a lot," Anna mused. "I guess I've never really had to worry about money before. Things just always...appeared." Even as she said it, she knew it sounded foolish.

"It's okay," Elsa smiled lightly. "Father was very careful with money. The Royal Funds are very rich. You don't ever have to worry about the price of living." She took her sister's hand in a promise.

But the motion bit a chunk from the young girl's heart. She found the bitter words coming out before she could stop them, "So glad Father was careful with _something._"

The acid in Anna's voice startled Elsa. "Anna..?" her voice drifted off, containing a hint of reproach.

Anna glanced at her sibling, then smacked the writing desk, leaving a hollow thud to echo in the air.

Elsa looked warily at Anna, her lips stuck open in a question she couldn't ask.

"How can you speak about him like that?" Anna asked perplexedly, gesturing to the hallway.

"What are you talking about?" Elsa questioned defensively.

"Father! You talk about him with this- this- _adoration_- in your voice."

Elsa breathed out through her nose, pressing her lips firmly together in a line. "You're mad; I understand," she started.

"I'm not mad," Anna laughed without mirth. "I'm livid! He took you away from me." She clutched her hands to her chest as if trying to hold her heart inside her ribcage. "He took our childhood- our friendship- away, and you act like what he did never even happened!"

Elsa's heart clenched. Years of hurt were starting to pour out of Anna, and Elsa had taken part in it. The truth didn't necessarily set you free. "Anna, please..."

"No!" Anna yelled. "I just found out what he did to you." Her voice fell away.

"Anna, it's okay..."

"See!" Anna pulled her hands back, revealing tear streaks on her cheeks. "You're excusing what he did. You have no idea what I went through!"

Elsa bit back a retort. "You think I don't know?" she said, dangerously silent. "I _agreed. _I agreed with what Papa said, Anna."

"You were eight!" Anna lashed back. "It's not like you would've been able to disagree with him."

"Father made bad mistakes- I'm not disagreeing with you-"

"You're acting like you have fucking Stockholm Syndrome!" Anna snapped, then dissolved into sobs.

Elsa stumbled on her words and felt the breath leave her body. "I- I-" She swallowed. "I was not a prisoner... and he was _not_ my captor."

"Spoken like a true-" Anna choked and animalistic howls wrenched from her chest.

Elsa's mind reeled. She'd never thought of it that way before. She pressed her hands firmly against her thighs. "If you're mad at me, you can just say so." She blinked back tears. "I know the pain I put you through. I heard you all the days you spoke to me through the door. Father may be to blame, and maybe I _do_ have Stockholm Syndrome-" she threw her arm out exasperatedly- "but I was an accomplice all the same. After Father and Mother died, I continued what I was taught. I am just as guilty." She pressed her hand to her forehead. "I know this is all new for you and it's a shock- but I've been living like this for as long as I remember. I've forgiven Father. He only did what he thought was best."

Anna crouched on the bedspread, her head in her hands. "It just makes me so angry," she said in a small voice.

"I know. Me too."

They stayed in their respective positions in a loud quiet for minutes. Then Elsa heaved herself over to Anna. Her legs shook as she shifted into a sitting position, and she pressed her cold hands to her sister's exposed shoulders. Anna suddenly turned into Elsa's body, dampening Elsa's nightgown with tears. "I'm sorry I yelled at you," Anna cried. "I'm just so-"

"Angry? Sad? Scared?" Elsa voiced. "I know. I was too. I am. But we'll get through this."

They stayed like that for a while, Elsa thinking back to the days she'd been locked in her room, wishing she'd had someone to tell her the same thing she'd just told Anna all those years ago.

**Thanks again for all the reads/reviews/favs. I love you guys. You melt my frozen heart ;P. **


	6. Stairway to Heaven

**Thank you everyone for your patience! Here's your update, as promised! As always, I love you guys and thank you for your favorites and reviews and such. :)**

Elsa gripped the banister of the stairs with sweating palms. _Oh my gods. Could you have put any _more_ stairs in the palace, Great-Grandfather?_

The hallways had been suspiciously empty all day, and Anna had left early that morning to attend to more business. Elsa's stomach grumbled pitifully.

_Be quiet. I know you're hungry._

Normally, a servant would have been waiting by the bedroom door, awaiting Queen Elsa's commands. But the past three days Elsa hadn't eaten a morsel, feeling too sick to even attempt a bite of anything. Yesterday she'd stupidly told the staff not to wait by the door for her, because she would just be working in bed, and her appetite wasn't going to show anytime soon. She cursed her foolishness as she descended another step down the staircase. Her arms trembled with effort and her scalp was damp with sweat. She relied the most heavily on her arms to support her, having realized a few minutes previously that her feet were tingling from lack of air.

Going downstairs was okay, because momentum worked with her. She just had to be careful not to fall over the rail or down the steps. As long as Elsa knew when to sit down and take a break, she would be fine. Going upstairs, she noted, was going to be a different thing entirely.

Elsa clenched the banister with both hands and leaned forward slightly. She counted the remaining steps to the landing. Thirty-four.

_Thirty-four, thirty-four,_ she chanted in her head. _Thirty-four is no big deal. You can do thirty-four._

Elsa took another step, smiling to herself. _Look at how far you've come._

But she didn't take into account how sweaty her palms were. Or how much like lead her feet felt. Or the fact that this dress pooled around her gaunt frame to the floor.

Two fingers slipped from the banister, but before she could correct it, her slow-reacting foot had already taken the plunge to the next step. A fold of slick fabric shot out from under her shoe and her own weight pulled her from the banister, wrenching her shoulder painfully. She slid first on her back, then did a full rotation and landed painfully on her left side, the breath knocked out of her. She spent a full minute retching before the pain could register. Elsa's back spread with a pain unlike any she'd ever felt before. It took the thoughts from her head and the voice from her throat. It was so all encompassing she couldn't even scramble a thought to wish she were dead. She didn't know how long it had taken for the pain to subside, but the sound of her fall had already echoed back four times to her in the vast hall. She dully registered that her third rib from the bottom was wedged uncomfortably in the edge of a stair, and the banister was just a breath out of reach of her hand, and her ankle was starting to ache, and she was still way too far from the bottom of the landing to push herself to the floor.

She moaned.

Elsa took stock of her body and the situation. Without realizing it, she laughed. Of _course_ this would be the outcome. Why would she think anything different- anything _positive_ would happen? Obviously her streak of bad luck wasn't going to end now, would it? "Wha-hat- the- f-fuck- was-hI- thi-hink-ing?" she gasped. "Oh Goh-hodds, I'm done for." She curled an arm around her head and let her body go limp on the stairwell. "Ca-han't ev-ven fuck-king walk, can-n you?" The pain of the fall mixed with the absurdity of the situation made her eyes start to water, but she laughed through it all the same.

When Gerda happened upon her, Elsa was in the middle of saying "...dih-his-grace." her shoulders falling rapidly up and down.

"Miss!" Gerda rushed up the stairs towards the queen.

Inhuman sounds flew from Elsa's mouth- a mix between wailing and crying and talking and laughing.

"Miss, are you hurt?" Concern flooded Gerda's face, and even though she wasn't as nimble as she used to be, she hit the deck with alarming swiftness to see the young queen's injuries.

Elsa just laughed maniacally in response, turning her head away, tears streaming down her face and gasping for air.

"Elsa?" Her voice jumped up an octave.

The brunette brushed roughly at her cheek, though new tears flooded right in its place.

Gerda grasped Elsa's hand briskly and held her still with a firm hand, fearing more damage would be done if she moved about. With a strained voice she called out, "Help! Someone! Help!"

The only person within earshot was Kristoff, who sprinted through the hall and up the steps towards Gerda. His vision was obstructed as he rounded the corner, but when he noticed a dainty hand in Gerda's it clicked into place.

"I don't know what happened!" Gerda exclaimed. "I don't know what to do."

Kristoff crouched down to Elsa's level. "Queen Elsa, are you alright?"

She laughed in response. "I fe-hell down the fuh-huh-king stairs."

Gerda tightened her lips at the curse.

Kristoff frowned a little and turned to Gerda. "She's only a little banged up. She'd be screaming if she'd broken something. I think it would be best- Can you get me a wheelchair?"

Gerda hurried away, and Elsa hiccuped, clutching her sides. "I'm so-ho screwed," she confessed, looking at Kristoff. She brushed water from her eyes. The twisted laughter was starting to fade.

"Queen Elsa…" Kristoff's voice faded away. How do you comfort someone who has trained their whole life for something, only to see their possibilities collapsing around them?

"How-ow am I sup-posed to rule a ki-hing-dom if I ca-can't even get to the ki-hitch-en?" Elsa covered her face with her hands, giggling uncontrollably into the lines in her palms.

Kristoff didn't answer, just sat in silence with her, resting his hand on her waist to keep her from moving until Gerda returned. She adjusted the wheelchair with difficulty, balancing it precariously on the steps. Without having to be asked, Kristoff picked the queen up, holding her the same way he had four days ago when he and Anna had found her. Elsa whined at the contact his hand made with her ribs. Kristoff slipped her into the hard-backed wheelchair cautiously, and as soon as she touched the seat, she crumpled in upon herself, shaking violently. She pressed her fisted hands to her forehead, her elbows digging into her stomach, and let out a low keen. Kristoff looked away uncomfortably. It was as if Elsa were grieving the loss of someone.

Kristoff took hold of the wheelchair and slowly wheeled the queen down the steps. Gerda walked haltingly beside, acting as a safety net if Kristoff should lose control of the steering. When they reached the landing, he nodded at Gerda, a silent thank you and reassurance. She patted the young woman's forearm uncomfortably and walked hurriedly away, wiping at her face.

He walked silently with Elsa, whose keening had stopped, but who was still hunched over, wracking with silent sobs and shaking shoulders. He saw the edge of the scar dancing along her skin as she moved. By the time they reached the kitchen, Elsa had calmed down considerably. The only hint of her breakdown was the slightly puffy eyes and cheeks, and the way she gingerly held her right side up with an elbow on the armrest. Her left side was tight and bruised, and she breathed in short breaths.

If one had not known what had just occurred, they would assume her injured appearance was the aftereffects of her attack in the mountains. As Kristoff opened the doors to the scullery, Elsa realized with a jolt why he had walked so slowly. She felt a surge of gratitude towards him for giving her the time to collect herself before the staff would see her.

Some of the staff looked up at the creaking of the wooden doors. One young female dropped the pan she was scrubbing and hurried over.  
"Queen Elsa!" She exclaimed, wiping her watery hands on her shift, "We are so glad to see you up and about." She bowed her head, smiling softly. The seemingly innocuous words stung Elsa, but she shook it away and smiled warmly at the servant.

"Thank you," she replied, courteous as ever. "It is good to be…about."

"What would you like, M'lady? I was becoming worried that you weren't eating any of the food we'd prepared." She looked shyly down at the young woman. It struck Elsa that the young servant, who had to look down on Elsa, could still make her feel as though she were looking up to her.

"Yes, I wasn't very hungry these past few days. Thank you for your concern."

"What would you like, Miss? Anything you want; I'll prepare it as quick as I can."

A lightning bolt of pain arced in the queen's ribs. She took a sharp breath in and clutched at her side. After a few moments she exhaled through her nose, unscrewing her eyes, but leaving her right hand over her side.

The servant watched this with speculating eyes, then drew her gaze to meet Elsa's as the queen said, "Sorry about that," through gritted teeth.

"No problem at all, Miss."

Elsa sighed. "I would like some hot glog if you don't mind."

"Of course, I'm on it, your majesty."

Kristoff made to wheel Elsa away, but she turned her head to him and said, "No. stop. I- I would like to stay here if that's alright."

Kristoff nodded. "Sure. I'm going to go find Anna, though," he said, the meaning behind his words evident.

Shame burned in the pit of her stomach. She didn't want her little sister to see her confined to a wheelchair. No longer could Elsa deny the fact of her declining health, and her repeated phrase to Anna - "I'm fine." - was going to be proven a lie. Because Elsa really wasn't "fine", as evidenced by her inability to walk down a flight of stairs.

"I understand," Elsa muttered, her ashen cheeks glowing a dull pink.

Kristoff's gaze seemed to apologize to her as he walked away, closing the wooden doors behind him with a thud of finality.


End file.
